Everyone begins their music learning journey with a vision of where they want to end up. I have had countless conversations with starry eyed parents envisioning a time when their child will be part of the team leading worship in adult church. Or when the child would be awarded a scholarship to a highly esteemed school because of their prodigious musical talent.
Few parents, especially those from a non-musical background, understand just how painfully long and protracted the music learning journey can be, and the level of frustration they, as parents, will experience along the way – especially when faced with a child unwilling to develop the full extent of their musical potential.
And so, it was with great joy when, at the beginning of this term, I received a message from one of our parents, celebrating the fact that their pre-teen child, let’s call her Abigail (not her real name), not only chose to take her hefty music books with her on holiday, but also proceeded to give lessons to a younger cousin in whose house they were holidaying. Abigail’s lessons made such an impact that her cousin’s music teacher commented on the noticeable improvement in her piano playing skills!
This story thrilled me no end, especially as the previous term had been our “make or break” term. Mum had given notice of her intention to stop lessons by the end of the term if Abigail’s engagement did not improve. Piano practice had become a source of conflict and frustration and they were not getting any headway. Abigail had asked several times to be allowed to quit lessons and mummy was running out of reasons why she couldn’t.
Together, mum and I agreed on some measures to try to win Abigail over:
- Break up lesson time into two half hour sessions so as to optimise engagement and reduce fatigue after a long day at school
- Temper the graded piano curriculum with repertoire that Abigail would find interesting – no more exam treadmill for Abigail
- Create a practice schedule with Abigail’s input and then leave Abigail to take responsibility for her own practice while at the same time holding her accountable for the results – good or bad
Well, both Abigail’s mum and I nearly fell off our chairs when, a few weeks later, Abigail casually announced that she was not only going to continue with her piano lessons, but she was also considering taking music as an option for GCSEs. You see, Abigail is currently one of the top performing music students in her class, and she reasoned, quite rightly, that she might as well make life a little bit easier for herself and take music GCSEs since she finds the subject “so easy”!
This term, we have continued with the shorter bi-weekly lessons, more diverse repertoire and light touch supervision from mum. Abigail has been amazing everyone with beautiful renditions of the pop-style “fun pieces” that she is learning to play. And yes, she is still also progressing through the (comparatively dry and technically demanding) piano and theory curriculum that she needs to pass her music GCSEs. So everyone is happy. Mum is happy, Abigail is happy, I am happy. It’s a win-win for everyone.
By being willing to find creative ways to help her daughter continue to engage with music, Abigail’s mum was able to get her over the “I quit” hump – for now. We may well revisit that mountain again sometime in the future, and if and when that happens, I know we will do our best to find a creative solution that works for everyone.
Don’t get me wrong, not all “Abigail” stories have a happy ending, and we will not always be able to prevent a child from quitting lessons. But if they should get to that point, let it not be because we didn’t try to find creative ways to keep them engaged until the point where they choose to fully own their musical journey.
Kunbi Osinoiki
Co-Founder and CEO, Kunbi’s Music Company